Catherine Keating Consulting

If you are an empath or a highly sensitive person, or a ‘sensitive‘ as I call them together, then most likely, you just know. You just know what you know and you know that you know. Otherwise known as, you posses a strong intuition, especially about your child. If this is you, feel free to skip the rest of this post!

If this is a topic that’s fairly new to you, an idea that has come across your path and you’re not certain why, it might seem a little ‘out there’ to you, and might require some clarification. Kids are kids, right? What do we mean by ‘sensitive?’ Sure, kids are kids, and also, I can assure you that each child that comes into this world is here with a unique purpose, vision, and way of being. And in order to help each child reach their own potential (based on their own inner purpose, not our expectations of them) they need to be seen, heard, and nurtured in the way that best suits them.

Which leads me to the trait known as Highly Sensitive. It is estimated that about 20-30% of every species has a nervous system more easily activated, senses more acutely attuned to their surroundings. In a species such as deer, for example, these 20-30% percent act as caution flags, essential members of the larger group. These are the beings who see, feel, sense, and just know things before the others do. The species literally would not survive without them. The Highly Sensitives of each group are the proverbial canary in the coal mine.

In the human species, however, this trait has not historically had the same connotation of importance. Rather, my experience has been that we sensitive people often have felt inadequate, not enough, insufficient and inefficient in a culture where efficiency equates to success. Because let’s be honest – being highly sensitive is not efficient. We take a long time to process, need ample space to dream, time to feel and heal, we notice nuance and often have to adjust to unseen energies that others don’t feel. And all this happens silently within while we’re supposed to be acting ‘normally’ and being ‘productive.’

Much of the sensitive life is unseen, but let me assure you, it’s real. And, please, please know these sensitive children of ours are here with great purpose. And – if we can raise our sensitive children with the patience, awareness, and heart-centered-ness that they require, they will be able to blossom into the vibrant and sparkling beings they naturally are. There is a way to access sensitivity as a superpower. There is a way to thrive, even though the world can feel ‘too much’ and completely overwhelming when life is on high volume, constantly. Clearly, I am passionate about supporting our sensitive children in their development and journey to a thriving adulthood!

I digress. Let’s get back to the original question. How do I know if my child is a sensitive?

Dr. Elaine Aron is considered the pioneer in this field of study, and her pivotal book The Highly Sensitive Child was published in 2002 – not that long ago. This is a new concept of understanding, and we’re always learning more. Dr. Aron created a checklist parents can work through to see if their child qualifies as HS. While this is a great starting point, it is also important to note that you may not need a checklist or formal label to decide you need to parent in a certain way. Simply knowing that your child tends to notice all details, tire out easily out in the world, and take on the feelings of others (or something like this combination) is enough to know you need to raise them in a manner that nourishes their more activated nervous system.

Both of my children are considered Highly Sensitive, although the trait presents differently in each. One is extremely sensitive to criticism, even the gentlest nudge or suggestion, the other has senses like a hound dog and smells, hears, and tastes things with (sometimes alarming) acuity. One is like energetic velcro, picking up on the energy of whoever is around (and often needs an energetic wipe down!), while the other takes an incredibly long time to process big emotions and events. They both need more sleep than the average bear, neither can be rushed, both will not tolerate scratchy fabrics or a trickle of water down the arm, and both require immense parental patience, founded by an extremely gentle approach.

At the core of it, if you’ve been wondering:

-why your child seems to handle stress differently than their peers

-why much of the parenting advice out there doesn’t make sense for your child

– why you feel like your household needs to run a different way than the status quo

-why your child is so empathic and/or affected by the feelings of others

-why your child thinks so deeply & takes so long to process

then you very likely have a Highly Sensitive child. And chances are, you might long for a bit of specialized support. Welcome. I am grateful to have you here. It’s a beautiful gift we get to unwrap – these sensitive children of ours have so much to teach us. It’s a gorgeous group to belong to.